Bullying Builds Character
Growing up, I was always bullied from elementary to high school. Only after I went to college, did I learn that you can consciously choose who your friends and acquaintances are. In the past year of continuous self-discovery, I’ve learned that a majority of the individuals whom I consider friends, were at one point in their lives, bullied. It’s no coincidence that each of these people have a similar impression of life.
Story time:
I remember like it was yesterday, it was sophomore year of high school. I was sitting in my Korean class, 5th period, (with Ms. Kim, God bless her; great person, but god-awful teacher) finishing up an assignment so I don’t have to take it home. There was less than 15 minutes left in class. To my left, was Joe, a freshman and his buddy behind him Jason. I swear to God, Joe (and Jason) if you ever read this, this is why I still fucking hate you both. But, I digress. I was minding my own business, Joe decides to poke my left hand like it’s a frog ready for dissection, making remarks and giggling. Jason was egging him on. He poked my left hand twice more and it really was testing my patience. Finally, I looked over to him, without moving my hands, and said, “poke my hand one more time, see what I do.” Giggling, Joe decides to poke my hand. I calmly stood up, grabbed the crossbar of his desk and picked it up. He fell on his ass to the ground, I threw the desk on top of him and screamed, “I told you not to fuck with me!” Joe stood up and shoved me and I fell on the seat of my desk. I stood up with my fist cocked back, ready to swing, but Ms. Kim was already in between us and told me to leave the classroom.
That later that day, Ms. Kim called my mother and told her about what transpired. My mother replied “Well, I see no need to suspend him, sounds like Sam handled the situation himself the appropriate way.” In reality, my mom was pissed at me for starting a fight. She wouldn’t tell me this until several years later.
The reason why I tell this story is because bullying events, such as this, is what I had to deal with throughout my life. Retrospectively, I’m proud I fought my own battles. I don’t remember most of my bullies or what events inspired and my mom didn’t even know of them. All I remember is the pain, hatred and animosity I felt throughout grade school. However, it forced me to develop grit, fortitude and mental toughness. With developing mental toughness and the grit, I persevere past my disability and developed a work ethic that doesn’t disappoint anyone. If there’s anyone I disappoint first, it’s always me. Bullying made me realistic forcing me to face my demons and insecurities. Bullying indirectly helped me to develop a personality that people enjoy being around: I became the person who is the center of attention at gatherings; an icebreaker when meeting new company; a comedian that breaks the tension. Most importantly, I became confident and not afraid in who I am. It allows me to be unapologetic of my character.
Today’s problem: The pusillanimous in most people I meet. Daily, I come across individuals who genuinely fear discomfort and don’t have the courage to stay discomfort for an extended period of time. The fortitude and grit the generation of my grandfather (helping him to walk after a crippling injury during the Korean War) is no longer there. Everyone has gotten comfortable and no one willing to take an extra step out or walk the line of offensiveness. Now, parents are fighting the battle of their kids, starting arguments and fights on social media rather than telling the kids to go and confront that other kid.
Yes, bullying can get out of hand and even lethal. When does it get to a point where public embarrassment is no longer a societal tool for norm? I’m not advocating for bullying, but I wouldn’t be the hard worker that I am without it.
Bullying:
Develops Perspective
It teaches not that not everyone is supposed to be the best. Some people just suck at things. That’s life! People all must play a societal role. Few intelligent people will horribly fail and never reach their utmost potential, while idiotic people will make headlines on pop culture news making billions of revenue by endorsing a product. Some athletes will make billions because they’re simply a genetic anomaly, other athletes will only milk professional sports for several years before realizing they’re not made to stay in the league for decades. Some kids are born able-bodied with no complications but will mount to a useless stoner, meanwhile their childhood friends could end up as CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Some individuals with disability will allow their complications to define them, others will overcome, conquer and be great. By developing a perspective, an individual will dream and strive for a goal, but will remain realistic in what is attainable and what is beyond farfetched.
Creates Personality
Bullying forces an individual to address their insecurities, demons, and esteem. Bullying indirectly creates a strong personality. It turns an introvert into an extrovert, a pessimist into optimist. It develops the grit and fortitude necessary for an individual to succeed in every avenue of life.
Without bullying, I wouldn’t need to address my cerebral palsy. Why would I have to worry about my gait if there wasn’t a kid in elementary school walking next to me, exaggerating a limp and dragging his feet? Why bother trying to squat deeper and heavier when I could just allow my cerebral palsy to paralyze my limbs? Because I don’t want to be the useless stoner that doesn’t support and change people’s lives for the better. I push my boundaries and remain uncomfortable because all I’ve known my whole life is discomfort or disappointment. Simply put, if I’m not physically or mentally uncomfortable, I’m not happy or content.
Develops Character
Bullying teaches the bullied morals and ethics. I learned what an asshole is because of Joe and Jason along with all my other bullies. That animosity I felt towards all my bullies became my fuel to work harder, but I knew it wasn’t something I wanted others to feel about me. Yes, I have disagreements with people, but I know that I’m not bullshitting them or myself by lying. I’m blunt and straightforward, but that’s because I won’t allow myself to be disrespected like I have in my past childhood.
In the past, I let others define me. Now, I define myself.